Does it Work?


His:

A recent article in Business Week suggested that pharmaceutical advertising, particularly TV ads, don’t work. In fact, these commercials promote potential overuse and cloud any true fact-finding by the patient. The article goes on to suggest that the companies  “should find new ways to connect meaningfully with patients.”


Well this week I found a drug maker that already shifted their $5 billion-a-year efforts to that exact effect. A full page ad in WSJ no less! I’ve worked on a number of consumer promotions and giveaways, but FREE DRUGS??!! One that makes your penis stand on end for an uncomfortably long stretch of time?! WOW. They must’ve spent $5 billion just getting their “If yours doesn’t work, our drug does” message insured and through legal hurdles.

But does Cialis really need a promotion like this? It’s not like cereal or shampoo where consumers have hundreds of choices. Brand recognition is already high.

Perhaps sales are down in this poor economy. Perhaps people truly are making tough choices between needs and wants. So, I ask you … a four-hour erection. Need or want? That’s a hard decision. 


Blessing: It works!

The Magic Number

Hers:
Online the other day, checking out Dave’s unemployment benefits and came upon something interesting. Even though benefits last for a year, you can only receive 26 times your full weekly rate in that year. So, $405 x 26 = $10,530. Apparently, just what a family of five needs to survive in a 12-month period!

Let’s do some math, shall we?

Cobra - $266.68/month (for the first 9 months, then it goes up to almost $800)

Groceries - $781.01/month, on average. The months we don’t go to Costco, definitely less

Auto Insurance - $88.20/month

Phone/cable modem - $80.28/month

Add those few expenses up for the year and we are at … (clickety click click of the adding machine) … $17,596.68. Hmm.

And that doesn’t include utilities, mortgage, gas, cell phone, new sneakers. Not to mention cat food, medical bills, light bulbs, printer ink, and on and on and on.

But we’re the lucky ones among the 15.1 million who lost their jobs since the start of the recession. We have savings (slashed, of course, but there), supportive families and freelance income. Granted, my work sputtered and died along with the economy last fall. But thankfully this summer it experienced an uptick. While it’s not income we can count on month after month, we are grateful when it comes in. And it came in (much to the detriment of my sanity. Whatever.)

Before you get all doom and gloom, check this out. Nothing like a spastic Two Step to make you believe there’s hope in the world.

Blessing – that I was 2 feet from my son and knew the Heimlich when he choked on a piece of Halloween candy. Heart rate is back to normal, intestinal fluid mopped up from the floor. All is well.

No News Is Good News, But Some Advice is Priceless

His:


I consider myself fairly well read and up to date on current events and the news in general. And lately so many sources say they see an uptick towards an economic recovery. Hogwash. Not on my block where 2 of my neighbors and friends were recently laid off. The news just isn’t getting the local, granular, personal stories.

So let me do a little bit of my own “citizen reporting”: people are still struggling mightily, still being laid off in droves, still working multiple jobs, still cutting expenses, still battening down the hatches just to survive. I’ll believe the news about a recovery when I see it. And I don’t see it on my block.

Blessing - finding a new group of running partners to pull me through the cold winter months (see you at 6am!)


Hers:
Ran into a friend this weekend whose husband is also out of work and has been for some time. Do we live in a trendy town, or what? She asked how we were doing and filled me in on their latest. She’s working and paying the bills, so that was good news. But from the way she spoke, it didn’t sound like she thought it was that good.

I said that while this rough patch may seem unending, hopefully it’d just be a blip in the course of a long and happy marriage. That throughout a couple’s life, there are ups and downs, and one person has to carry more weight than another. It’s just all part of the ride.

She stared at me and said, “You’ve got to bottle that and sell it.”

How about I just give it away for free.




Blessing - Learning MJ's "Thriller" dance at hip hop tonight. The video version. So fun.

Keeping it Clean

His:
You may recall that when we started this blog, one of the inspirations was the book 365 Nights. Deb’s exact words as I was brushing my newly unemployed teeth were, “If a couple can get a book deal having sex every night, surely this is more relevant.” I’m still trying to attain that perfect level of activity. Luckily I came across an article in the Wall St. Journal that supports my amorous quest - ‘Housework Pays Off Between the Sheets’

So now I’m grateful to be working from home. Forget more time with the kids. I’ve got more time to be cleaning up after them! My new goal is a spotless house. I’ll swoop in with wipes and Comet after each of my boys takes a piss. I’ll be running the washer and dryer like nobody’s business.

Will this pay off? For me to know and you (not) to find out. There could be underage readers out there.

Blessing – getting called out of the blue from a headhunter this week

Hers:
Go for it, Dave!

Not only might this article prove beneficial in a number of ways, but it supports a great business idea I had several months ago (before seeing the Craig’s List posting for an adult entertainment copywriter.)

Porn for (straight) women, by women.

Picture this … middle-aged guy, receding hairline, in jeans and old college sweatshirt. The music starts, say something by The Cranberries (this is for women, remember). The set is steamy – literally - there's steam blowing all around his face. We pull back to reveal our guy unloading a dishwasher that just finished a heavy cycle. HOT!

Or, how about a little Barry White? Cliché, yes. But so what. White sheets are floating in slow motion across the screen, revealing a skinny guy in sweatpants and stained t-shirt. We hear the sound of a whip – CRACK – as the wrinkles are shaken loose from the sheet. And as our actor forms a perfect square, we see a laundry basket by his feet, stacked with folded clothes.

Oh, baby.

Blessing - We actually watched a movie tonight for the first time in 6 months. And it was good!

Mommy is a Big Fat Liar

Hers:
I’ve alluded to my 9-year-old’s internal clock that gets him out of bed before anyone else in the household can function properly. It’s the draw of technology (and his bladder, which we have no control over.) So I shut down the computer at night to avoid predawn Club Penguin sessions. And Dave hides the wii and TV remotes before going to bed (and after catching up on hockey highlights). Clever, right?

Well, apparently you can turn on the TV without a remote. You just can’t change the channels. And since there’s no hockey at 6:45 in the morning, MSG Network fills the empty airtime with infomercials. Which our oldest devours before any of us are up for breakfast.

Let me state for the record now that I DO NOT authorize my son to use my credit card. I fear strange packages will begin to show up on our doorstep. Like the GT Express Cooker (Mom! This is awesome! It makes pizza in just 7 minutes! That’s so much faster than the 30 minutes it would take in a traditional oven!) Or the Monster Hand-Held Steam Cleaner that dissolves the toughest stains in just minutes. (Mom, you HAVE to get this! Don’t turn off the TV! I’m recording it!) The best was the Vibro Belt (You can tone, firm and strengthen your upper abs while you work, cook or clean! It’s so much easier than exercise or diet!)

Clearly, we have to deal with this.

I gently explained to my son that he shouldn’t believe everything he sees on TV. That they hire people to write these commercials so you think it’s the best product in the world. That these writers know exactly how to trick you into buying something that you don’t really need.

“How do YOU know?” he asks.

Shit. The moment of truth.

“Well, honey. This is what I do for a living.”

Blessing – The toilet at our friend’s house flushed without incident after our 5-year-old wiped his ass with what appeared to be 50 yards of Charmin. That was a close one.

Will Talk for Food

Hers:
It’s great having a friend who does market research. And needs desperately to interview people with a certain type of TV service. And will pay $150 to hear what we have to say about our TV viewing habits. (Or, lack of, really, because we’re too busy working. But we didn’t say that.)

So, we took a well-needed break the other night from designing and researching and writing and job-searching, and sat in front of the camera to talk at greater length than anyone outside of the business would care to hear about our satellite TV service provider. We were like that annoying person you get stuck standing next to at a cocktail party. Only, if I were at a cocktail party, I would have been wearing mascara and lipstick. Thanks, Dave, for neglecting to tell me ahead of time we’d be filmed. (sigh)

That’s okay, I can look schlubby to a roomful of ad execs in exchange for a week’s worth of groceries.

What do you want to talk about next, Mr. C?

Blessing – That my 9-year-old has NO understanding whatsoever of the utterly misogynistic connotations of his Halloween costume … Mac Daddy.

A Major Dose of Perspective

His:
Our camping adventure was the best of times and the worst of times. And For Poorer fans won’t soon forget our night in the tent. It was the most brutal 10 hours I can recall in a long time. I woke up (actually, never went to sleep) and said to my wife, “My soul has been scarred.” It was that bad.

The day portion of the trip was absolutely perfect though, except for one detail that put everything into perspective. 
 
After a terrific hike, the younger kids found a playground while my brother-in-law, my oldest son, my nephew and I went to play Frisbee golf (or disc golf for you aficionados). We had a blast, throwing the disc in all sorts of directions, some of which were even going straight and eventually made it to the “hole.”

Then, in the middle of this peaceful activity with the past evening’s hell fresh in my mind, my good friend called to let me know his son had passed away suddenly over the weekend. Space and time froze as I watched the other three continue their game. I stopped. Couldn’t play anymore. Told them to go ahead without me and I’d meet them back at the playground. 
 
All of sudden, I began wishing for a thousand bad nights like the previous one – kicks in the head, screaming and all - so long as my kids stayed healthy. May this little boy rest in peace.